A little over a week ago, Tom and I decided to take a trip down to a place called Kenting. I’ll definitely be dedicating an entire post to the trip, but before I do, I thought I’d tell you about a specific experience we had there and some of my thoughts on it.
The first night we were there, we were super hungry. We found a restaurant that looked pretty good, so we headed on in. It was immediately apparent upon walking in that the atmosphere left much to be desired, but we were there for the food, not the experience, so we didn’t really care.
Tom and I started chatting and after a while we noticed that there was a pole in the middle of the restaurant. Yeah, you know what that means, but we were a bit tired and out of it, so we didn’t make the connection. It was just a pole to us.
Not too long after we noticed the pole, one of the employees came over and closed the curtain for the window next to our booth. We thought that was a bit strange, but didn’t think about it too much. In fact, we thought it was kind of nice because it was really busy and crowded outside.
Then someone started saying something over the speakers which, of course, we couldn’t understand. Then some music came on. We were still clueless. THEN, a rather skimpily dressed woman came out and....you guessed it....started having a relationship with the pole. Suddenly...it...all...clicked.
We promptly asked to be moved outside, but had already seen much more than we had wanted to. Rather I had see more than I wanted too because I was covering Tom’s eyes.
What was more horrifying, though, was that not only were there families with children inside who didn’t leave, but there were families with children outside who chose to move inside!
After we moved outside, Tom and I talked about it for a bit. What I couldn’t help but wonder is how is it that the men who are watching this with their wives or girlfriends or even just their friends are not embarrassed or feeling awkward? Would these same women be ok with it if they were out with their significant other and a pretty girl walked by and he was obviously checking her out? Doesn’t that send a message to the girl?
Tom’s response was that to a lot of people it has ceased to become taboo. They don’t give it a second thought. It’s not considered base and dirty. It’s just a way to have fun. What do you think? Do you think that way? Do you know others who do? Or do you find it still so hard to imagine like I do?
I also marveled that people would be so willing to expose their children to something like that. He said that they’re probably the type of people who don’t really put much thought into their parenting. Like, a “they just go where I go” kind of attitude where they aren’t consciously thinking about their children a whole lot. What do you think? Why do you think parents would be ok with exposing their children to things like that? Maybe they think they’re too young for it to affect them? Or do they just not care?
Finally, I also started wondering about feminists and how they feel about stuff like this. Like, I feel as if these days it’s pretty frowned upon if you’re seen as the type of person who doesn’t respect women. Whether it be through outright discrimination in the workplace or otherwise, or whether it be in more subtle ways. There’s a big movement out there, for example, against the media distorting images of women to make them seem more beautiful. A lot of women take issue with that practice, but and yet I feel like strip clubs and the like don’t seem to have fallen under that umbrella. I mean, I know plenty of people who seem otherwise progressive when it comes to women’s rights but who would also enjoy going to a strip club (or something like it). This seems really strange to me, because to me that type of this is obviously degrading to women. Do other people not see it that way? How come this doesn’t seem to be much a part of the dialogue? Do others not agree that using women purely as sex objects is pretty degrading?
I wrote this post for two reasons. The first is that I really am genuinely curious about all these questions I’m sending out to the blogging void. I really want to know what other people think wether I agree with them or not. The second is to let it be know that I am 100%, non negotiably against anything even remotely resembling a strip club. That may seem extreme, naive, close-minded, etc. etc. to some people, but I make no apologies and I am not ashamed to say so. Not only do I think they are degrading to women (and men actually) but I think that they hugely distort something very important and private. Finally, above all, I now know from personal experience that they do not make me feel uplifted, they make me feel dark and as long as I have the ability to choose what I expose myself to I will always try my best to only expose myself to uplifting things, even if there are other “fun” things that aren’t uplifting.
Oh, and just to be clear, if you are the type who likes to go to places like this, I still like you I just loathe your choice.
Please do tell me your thoughts. I know I asked a LOT of questions, so answer one and them all, I don’t care. But I’d love to hear from you.